Its been 3 months since I left singapore for shanghai. Not sure if I've changed much (don't ask me cos i don't know) but I've sure gained a few insights to people and life. Just reached home and bathed after eating the company dinner and walking in the park with sf even though it was raining quite heavily.
Its quite nice to walk in the park with our umbrellas and talking about stuffs while letting our food digest. romantic in a way, and so comfortable and fortunate we need not wake up early the next morning.
Shanghai sure has alot of fun stuffs and new places to explore everytime. you can meet your friends whenever you like and spend or eat whatever you want as long as you have the money. the things to buy here are just too many. Not staying with parents has given me much freedom on what time i can come home..i can stay over at any friend's house and not worry about returning home late cos theres no caretaker. Good in a way, but i do miss my parents. I miss my bed, i miss my friends, i miss ed and sometimes sch but thats all about it. occasionally the sg food but not as much as i think i'll miss cheap happy lemon,cheap clothes,h&m,the bargaining,the scenic places which i cant get to see in sg. haha i think im now a sucker cos i keep praising shanghai. but thats true, i will miss xintiandi and buns really.
there's only 2 months left here and i would want to make full use of the time i have left. staying in a foreign land has taught me how to be even more patient, and less cynical. of course i have friends here who, after 3 months, continue to be cynical (thats none of my business) but im sure they will reach the point where they will mis this place too.
I wouldnt say for sure that i wouldnt work here, cos i will agree to work anywhere else..as long as they give me good pay and the place is fun! wahaha
low self esteem has come back to haunt me again! im not sure if it occurs to every girl or any girl at alll..but its been haunting me ever since i come to uni. i cant rmb when was the last time i actually felt good about myself. isit becos of the complexion which never seems to be better? or its just matters and stuffs which leaves u feeling disappointed about ppl. superficiality plays a part i guess, but i cant stop feeling all lousy about myself sometimes. i need a break from thinking like that. nobody can help and i cant help myself either. its just there, like a scar after a wound heals. maybe ive gotta wait til i grow older, then i wont have time to feel bad about myself but to invest in more cream to fight wrinkles.
there may be times u have to make a choice, im willing to make a sacrifice.
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